This is my first post for the Insecure Writer's Support Group; in fact, I am still very new to blogging in general, so do bear with me! But I really wanted to participate, as in recent months I have learned first hand what a great help it is to have a support from fellow writers.
I often find myself feeling extremely insecure about my writing, and my art. Recently, I have felt more confident in my ability and future as a writer, but I know that the doubts will always linger. Today is actually a rather significant day for me; today, the Fear Anthology published by Crooked Cat is released, in which my short story "Candlelight" is featured. This is my second fiction publication (my first being in an eZine this summer just gone), but my first in a physical book. For me, this is a turning point, as up until now, being a writer had been little more than a dream; but now it is a reality.
Now, I really need to stop myself here and say that this is not a bragging post by any means...I maybe new to the IWSG, but it just seems like poor ettiquette to come along and start bragging about successes on the first post! :( This month, I am brimming with confidence. But perhaps, next month, I will be low...perhaps I'll have had a couple of rejections or a terrible case of the dreaded Writer's Block, or something will happen to make me completely doubt myself. It WILL happen at some point. It always does.
And maybe this month, you, the reader of this rambly post, may be feeling really low. So while I'm feeling good right now, it seems that maybe I should share some of that postivity while I still have it. If you're reading this and you're feeling very down thid month, then I hope what I'm about to write will somehow encourage you :)
I'm writing this because I've had so much wonderful support from certain friends (you all know who you are, I love you all, thank you), some are fellow writers, some are not. But they've been more than happy to sit down, chew the fat and get the ideas going, and give me an ego boost when I've felt low. The biggest boost came right at the end of June, when I was rapidly approaching a fiction deadline (I had something like 2 hours to go). Convinced I was a crap writer, a hopeless flake and had blown my chances by stupid procastination, I had a big old b*tch fit on Facebook, only to be met by some very supportive comments by my friends. One, in fact, gave me a big telling off for considering giving up. I made that deadline with 42 seconds to spare (literally!). Since then, while I have had my bad days, I have urged myself to keep going...and my friends have urged me too. Its made a huge difference.
Thats why I decided to join the Insecre Writer's Support Group...this month I am very confident in my writing, even if I may feel differently next month. So for now, I will spread the love <3 If someone reads this and is inspired to battle on, then this will have be more than just self-indulgent waffle ^^;;
You see, I honestly never really believed this would happen to me...getting published I mean. I've not a had a good year, and I tend to think very negatively anyway. For sure, it was- still is- my fondest dream, my biggest ambition, but I never really knew HOW to get the writing off the ground. I hadn't even finished anything properly before July, apart from articles I write for an online magazine. I seem to lack motivation to get things done for myself. By nature, I have to admit, I am lazy, scatty, undisciplined, and a terrible procastinator...and on top of this, I am under-confident. It would become a vicious circle- I couldn't compel myself to get something done, so I'd become depressed that I'd never become published, and knowing I wouldn't become published, I had no motivation to get finished. My biggest problem, I think, is that I find it difficult to just sit my bum down and get on with writing! I am a shameless daydreamer, and I spend more time fantasising about the writing then actually doing it!
But I am changing my ways...I am a creature of bad, bad habits, but bad habits can be beaten! And already I'm getting results out of it. Since July, I had submitted six short stories, and two now have been published, which I personally don't think is a bad result.
If I can do this, I know you can too. Take a look at your habits and try and see what is holding you back. Make time for your writing- it is true we all have lives and responsibilities to consider, but we need to invest in the time and effort to craft a story and bring it to life. You know, lots of people like to ask the musician/film-maker/writer/all-round creative guy Voltaire how to write a book, and his reply has been simply "Write a book!" So many people (myself included) spend too much time worrying how to do it when really, the first step is just DOING it. And you can't jump ahead to the next step until the first one is completed.
Its not easy, but it is rewarding, and if you persevere, you will be get to experience that. So my advice is just to work hard, believe in yourself, as hard as that maybe, and try to identify any of your bad habits or flaws that get in the way of your writing- and tackle them head on. Surround yourself with wonderful people who can help and support you (although chances are, if you're already part of the ISWG, you already know loads ;) ). My experience tells me a lot of creative people can be a bit flakey and scatty, so I wouldn't be surprised if some of you have had similar experiences in trying to get things finished. I know full well that my faults will continue to present challenges to me in my writing and creative projects, but now that I have had a taste of success, this will drive me on for more.
And when I feel bad, I'll be back, browsing through other writer's IWSG posts, looking for more advice on how to whip myself into shape. I really think the IWSG is a great idea, and I look forward to interacting with other creative minds :) In the meantime, I'm going to make the most of my positive attitude...I'm more negative by nature, so I need to enjoy it and share it while I can!
So for now, I will wrap up this rambly, rambly post. I really hope that I haven't been too big-headed or self-centered, and I hope that someone perhaps feels encouraged by what they've read. Apologies if any of this post was inappropriate or unhelpful...but hey, its my first post, and we all have to start somewhere, right? Any advice, comments, tips, etc, totally welcome.
Happy writings, my freaky darlin's! ;)
(Edit; I'm such a noob, totally forgot to add the link, didn't I? Doi! :P)